How Your People Will Better Implement Your Feedback

A leadership consultant and communications professional offers her approach

Feb 01, 2025

Amber Johnson is a leadership consultant and communications expert

Most anyone can provide feedback to team members yet that doesn’t mean it always proves effective and beneficial. What if you learned that there is a method that can increase the probability of people being more open to receiving it well and acting as you desire on it?

Amber Johnson, a leadership consultant and communications expert, recently wrote about it in her Substack newsletter, Better than Fine.

The article is titled, Simple Mistakes Leaders Make and Five Questions to Help You Avoid Them, Tips for making your leadership personal and authentic.

It was the third mistake that she wrote about — Giving feedback the same way to everyone — that is the focus of today’s discussion.

She begins by talking about how people unsurprisingly have different preferences as to how they like and want to receive communication about their professional approach, development and performance.

“I have a colleague who says, ‘just stab me in the front,’ about how he likes to receive feedback,” Johnson wrote. “He wants direct, clear feedback — no mincing of words.”

To offer contrast, she admits that would not quite be her choice.

“I like clear feedback too,” Johnson wrote, “but I’ll hear it better if you first recognize my contributions.”

Different people, different preferences: who would have guessed it?

Getting to the Heart of Her Advisory

“How do you want to receive feedback to hear it well?” she wrote. “Asking your team members how they prefer to receive feedback helps you maximize the potential that they’ll hear it well.”

It seems obviously smart yet is it the norm in most workplaces? Maybe. Maybe not.

People’s minds have an emotional, psychological comfort zone and thus, a unique operating system for communication processing to drive their best work.

“Some need written feedback, others want it to be in dialogue,” Johnson wrote. “Some can take constructive feedback in passing, while others need to be in a private space to process.”

Her simple guidance for improvement in these professional interactions: “Learn how your team members like to receive feedback and deliver it to them in a manner that lets it be heard,” Johnson wrote.

It would seem that stress-relief opportunity for employees and leaders is there for the taking. Johnson spoke to Communication Intelligence about this sophisticated thinking and possible elegant solution for improvement.

“I learned, through observation, starting first with my team, that people need to receive feedback in different ways,” Johnson tells C.I. “A favorite colleague of mine is a ‘stab me in the front’ personality. By which I mean, he’s likely to only hear feedback if you’re incredibly direct and don’t mince words.”

As mentioned above, she’s not wired the same emotionally and psychologically.

“I feel differently. I’ve worked hard to get to the point that I really value feedback but I learned — and had to teach my colleague — that I’m likely to hear it best if it starts with a thoughtful recognition of my contribution,” Johnson says.

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She provides an example to illustrate.

“My colleague Jim, and I work together on creating presentations. If Jim reviews something I’ve worked for days on and starts with, ‘The approach to X is all wrong,’ I’m likely to start stockpiling my arguments for why he is the one that’s wrong.

“But imagine if Jim frames his feedback this way, ‘This is beautifully designed and really gets us where we need to go. And that idea you mention on slide 9 is clearer than we’ve ever expressed it before. My only question is how we’re approaching X. I wonder if …”

Personalization by getting to know someone and talking to them and listening can get leaders and colleagues to this higher ground.

“If he takes that approach, I know my work is valued,” Johnson says. “I know I have his respect as a professional. And I know we’re shaping the presentation together.”

This is not solely a conviction derived from a small sample size.

“As a leadership coach, I hear story after story of how my clients have given and received feedback, and how well it works. So I can assure you, I’m not the only one who benefits from a customized approach to feedback,” Johnson confidently states.

“Not long ago, a client of mine complained about feedback from her boss. The content of the feedback was appropriate, but the timing wasn’t,” Johnson says.

“The boss called while my client was driving, didn’t ask if this was a good time and proceeded to share constructive feedback late on a Friday afternoon,” she explains.

“Again, had the boss thought about how this person handles feedback, she might have realized … this can wait until we’re in the office together next week.”

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Feedback is given yet it may often fail to inspire movement towards the objectives to help drive the mission. Buy-in and commitment can be hard to come by if people don’t relate to each other or feel “agency” in the relationship.

“The most important benefit of personalizing your feedback approach is that the feedback gets heard,” Johnson confirms, explaining one big reason why.

“You defeat defensiveness and make it more likely that the person receiving the feedback is prepared to take your insights to heart.”

Relationship and culture psychological safety — and greater collaboration — can develop.

“Beyond that, you help people feel seen and appreciated as an individual. Your leadership seems personal rather than impersonal, and your colleague feels respected,” Johnson explains.

“Long term, teams that get really good at feedback see increases in performance. I believe they grow in trust as well, because I know you’ll tell me the truth rather than what I want to hear and I know we’ll work together to figure things out. “

There will be leaders who feel uncomfortable – or be dismissive – of this approach.

“Some will say that people need to toughen up and be willing to take harsh feedback, no matter how it arrives. I agree that we all need to improve our ability to hear feedback and respond well,” Johnson says.

“But harsh feedback, or feedback that is inappropriately presented, isn’t a benefit to you or the organization.”

Therefore, it may be reasonable to think seriously about personalization.

“If one simple change can help someone understand your message more clearly, it seems worth the time to adapt,” Johnson contends.

She does want to clarify what might be assumed about what she is suggesting.

“Others might say, ‘are you recommending a sh*t sandwich?’ That’s when you squeeze a critique between two good things. No, I’m not recommending that,” Johnson says.

She elaborates on what she does mean.

“Instead, I’m saying, I hear feedback best when I feel seen, heard and appreciated. So, make that clear before you offer a critique,” Johnson recommends.

“More than anything, I’m saying we all receive feedback differently — and being thoughtful about your approach, and the needs of the individual in front of you, can increase your impact.”