Perhaps what's happening is this: when people treat the trust around them as something to draw on or use up, no one steps in when the moment actually matters. The "I helped you before, now back me up" kind of move. And that pattern is usually obvious to the people on the receiving end.
Trust might be more like a passive buff — always active in ordinary times, quietly raising the baseline. Because that lift is operating every day, it translates into outcomes when the moments that count arrive. Which is why small discoveries — "oh, this person helps even here?" — accumulate one by one. The weight of those small moments is what shows up later, I think.
There's a line attributed to Takeda Shingen, a 16th-century warlord: "People are the castle, people are the stone walls, people are the moat. Compassion makes allies; vendettas make enemies." Perhaps the same structure was already being observed 400 years ago, in the Warring States period.
"... that pattern is usually obvious to the people on the receiving end."
So true. Reciprocity has to "feel right" to most people to inspire them to offer it and that only happens when a working relationship is mutually beneficial.
"... quietly raising the baseline."
Love how you phrased it. That's it!
Regarding Shingen's quote, you have my intrigued. It's visual. I agree on compassion and vendettas. Yet I'm missing in my brain how it all ties together, the metaphors. What's it say to you?
The first half — "people are the castle, people are the stone walls, people are the moat" — does something specific. Shingen replaces physical defense with social structure. The defense that looks like a fortification is actually a network of trust. A castle can be breached, a moat can be filled in, walls can be torn down. But a web of people who would stand for you is harder to dismantle from outside. So the visible defense and the real defense are not the same thing.
The second half — compassion and vendettas — is the mechanism for the first. How do you turn people into your castle? Daily compassion, small considerations over time. How do you push them to the other side of the moat? Vendettas, accumulated resentment. The two halves are not separate observations. They are the structure and the method, in that order.
That is also what brought it to mind for your piece. The promotion that looks like a function of performance is, in your framing, really a function of the social fabric — the passive buff built quietly over time. Performance is the visible castle. The actual defense is the people who would speak for you when your name comes up in a room you are not in. Shingen says this in his era. The article says it in ours. The vocabulary differs, the structure does not.
A small historical note: Shingen did not build a strong castle. He lived in a low-defense residence called Tsutsujigasaki-yakata. The metaphor was not abstract for him.
"Performance is the visible castle. The actual defense is the people who would speak for you when your name comes up in a room you are not in. Shingen says this in his era. The article says it in ours. The vocabulary differs, the structure does not."
I liked what you wrote about the "actual defense."
Relationship building can be a door opener and support and certainly is more likely to help be that line of defense. I liked the historical note. :)
The leaders who rise successfully are usually the ones who make others feel supported and respected long before there is anything to gain from it. This happens without fail. The people who treated every relationship as a transaction eventually found themselves in rooms full of people who were there for the same reason they were. The people who showed up without an agenda found themselves in rooms full of people who actually wanted them to win. It is so easy to treat others with kindness and respect. Happy Friday, Michael....
This is a keeper -> "The people who treated every relationship as a transaction eventually found themselves in rooms full of people who were there for the same reason they were."
thanks Communication Intelligence for the interview...the mindset shift is that elevating those around you tends to reflect back onto yourself...and, it feels good too! It is a win-win!
"... elevating those around you tends to reflect back onto yourself...and, it feels good too! "
It's usually a sound investment for collaboration, accomplishment, success, career and as you mention, the emotional, psychological rewards (even if we don't always recognize them) that develop. Thank you for doing the interview. It was great to have you as a source.
Perhaps what's happening is this: when people treat the trust around them as something to draw on or use up, no one steps in when the moment actually matters. The "I helped you before, now back me up" kind of move. And that pattern is usually obvious to the people on the receiving end.
Trust might be more like a passive buff — always active in ordinary times, quietly raising the baseline. Because that lift is operating every day, it translates into outcomes when the moments that count arrive. Which is why small discoveries — "oh, this person helps even here?" — accumulate one by one. The weight of those small moments is what shows up later, I think.
There's a line attributed to Takeda Shingen, a 16th-century warlord: "People are the castle, people are the stone walls, people are the moat. Compassion makes allies; vendettas make enemies." Perhaps the same structure was already being observed 400 years ago, in the Warring States period.
"... that pattern is usually obvious to the people on the receiving end."
So true. Reciprocity has to "feel right" to most people to inspire them to offer it and that only happens when a working relationship is mutually beneficial.
"... quietly raising the baseline."
Love how you phrased it. That's it!
Regarding Shingen's quote, you have my intrigued. It's visual. I agree on compassion and vendettas. Yet I'm missing in my brain how it all ties together, the metaphors. What's it say to you?
The way the metaphor lands for me:
The first half — "people are the castle, people are the stone walls, people are the moat" — does something specific. Shingen replaces physical defense with social structure. The defense that looks like a fortification is actually a network of trust. A castle can be breached, a moat can be filled in, walls can be torn down. But a web of people who would stand for you is harder to dismantle from outside. So the visible defense and the real defense are not the same thing.
The second half — compassion and vendettas — is the mechanism for the first. How do you turn people into your castle? Daily compassion, small considerations over time. How do you push them to the other side of the moat? Vendettas, accumulated resentment. The two halves are not separate observations. They are the structure and the method, in that order.
That is also what brought it to mind for your piece. The promotion that looks like a function of performance is, in your framing, really a function of the social fabric — the passive buff built quietly over time. Performance is the visible castle. The actual defense is the people who would speak for you when your name comes up in a room you are not in. Shingen says this in his era. The article says it in ours. The vocabulary differs, the structure does not.
A small historical note: Shingen did not build a strong castle. He lived in a low-defense residence called Tsutsujigasaki-yakata. The metaphor was not abstract for him.
"Performance is the visible castle. The actual defense is the people who would speak for you when your name comes up in a room you are not in. Shingen says this in his era. The article says it in ours. The vocabulary differs, the structure does not."
I liked what you wrote about the "actual defense."
Relationship building can be a door opener and support and certainly is more likely to help be that line of defense. I liked the historical note. :)
The leaders who rise successfully are usually the ones who make others feel supported and respected long before there is anything to gain from it. This happens without fail. The people who treated every relationship as a transaction eventually found themselves in rooms full of people who were there for the same reason they were. The people who showed up without an agenda found themselves in rooms full of people who actually wanted them to win. It is so easy to treat others with kindness and respect. Happy Friday, Michael....
This is a keeper -> "The people who treated every relationship as a transaction eventually found themselves in rooms full of people who were there for the same reason they were."
That should be in on walls in organizations.
Happy Friday to Neela as well.
Thank you.
Wishing you a good week ahead :)
thanks Communication Intelligence for the interview...the mindset shift is that elevating those around you tends to reflect back onto yourself...and, it feels good too! It is a win-win!
"... elevating those around you tends to reflect back onto yourself...and, it feels good too! "
It's usually a sound investment for collaboration, accomplishment, success, career and as you mention, the emotional, psychological rewards (even if we don't always recognize them) that develop. Thank you for doing the interview. It was great to have you as a source.