Your Moral Compass Being Tested at Work
What is smart to think about, be patient regarding and thoughtful about deciding
Elon Musk knows how to make money, especially as the wealthiest person on the planet, according to the Forbes Billionaires List, yet he is a polarizing leader who has a reputation for inspiring many employees to walk away from his companies due to his intensity of personality and leadership and his socio-political commentary and actions.
Daniel Gala recently wrote about it at “Yahoo! Finance.” One source for the article brought up the concern about the importance of moral relationship with an employer.
“I love Tesla and my time there,” said an anonymous former employee who spoke to FT. “But nobody that I know there isn’t thinking about politics. Who the hell wants to put up with it? I get calls at least once a week.
“My advice is, if your moral compass is saying you need to leave (a work relationship or boss), that isn’t going to go away.”
The comments section of that article revealed it’s not just at Musk-led companies where this type of stress and upset is occurring.
“This reminds me of what a friend who’s very well-placed in the tech industry told me a few years ago,” a commenter wrote. “She sees a lot of resumes from people in the executive tier and what they all have in common is that everybody has worked for Amazon...but almost no one, for more than a year.
“Because, apparently the corporate culture is so toxic there, no one can take it for more than a year before fleeing, even if it means taking a significant salary cut.”
A person’s moral compass signaling to them that the organization is misaligned with what is reasonable or ethical or moral and it’s unbearable. Ending such an employee-employer relationship is being judged as the best decision and while it might be for many people, yet there are different viewpoints.
“If you feel like a relationship or a working environment is out of sync with your morality, that’s a sign worth honoring,” says Richard Birke, chief architect at JAMS Pathways, a company that provides workplace conflict resolution services, targeted employee training programs and guided facilitation.
“But the statement it’s time to leave ‘because that feeling isn’t going to change’ is overbroad. Perhaps it’s time to leave but perhaps there are opportunities for positive change. Listening well to your feelings is important but the choices you make and the actions you take are critical.”
It’s smart to keep in mind the big picture, he advises.
“Emotional pain, like physical pain, is a signal that something needs attention,” Birke says, adding that, “Just as we don’t cut off our arm because of the pain associated with a paper cut to our finger, sometimes we ought not cut off a relationship or quit a job prematurely. That paper cut, if unattended, might fester into a serious wound, but if taken care of promptly, may heal.”
“The short answer for this question of listen to your inner voice, is ‘it depends,’” says Maureen Crawford Hentz, a career and workplace coach and adjunct professor of Human Resources at Merrimack College’s Girard Graduate School of Business.
“Feelings do change but most of these little voices are talking to us about three different kinds of conflicts: situational, structural and interpersonal.”
Situational
“For situational conflicts, your little voice may be saying ‘leave’ and that may be valid,” Crawford Hentz says. “Situational conflicts can only be resolved by changing the situation or leaving it.
“Typically, they are temporary; maybe a long temporary, but temporary. Ask yourself ‘what about the situation do you find untenable?’ The duration? The power structure? The people you see every day? Then ask yourself if the situation is temporary and/or what are the costs for leaving a temporary ‘blip’ in an otherwise stable and healthy situation?”
She reframes the emotional, psychological conflict that is often taking place.
“Does the cost-benefit analysis indicate it’s better to gut something out while trying to change it, even if temporary,” Crawford Hentz asks.
“If so, figure out what is within your control do dampen the effects of the current situation while you work to improve it; then work to change it. Give yourself a set amount of time, work your plan, set aside and plan your exit financially and then do it.”
Structural
“To resolve a structural conflict, something in the structure must be changed. Is it your pay, your benefits, your reporting structure, your commute?” Crawford Hentz suggests examining.
“The only resolution here lies in changing some part of the structure, or leaving it.
“Can you change supervisors? Negotiate better pay? Travel less frequently? Structures can very rarely be changed or challenged from the outside, so internally is the place to solve from here.”
It’s important to understand the challenges and hardship of such types of conflicts.
“Always remember that structures are built to serve the builders,” Crawford Hentz says. “Your mission is to determine who the structures serve, if there is any chance of changing them, and if they are changed, does that make your situation better.”
Interpersonal
“This is so much more difficulty In interpersonal conflicts; the conflict either needs to be resolved in the relationship or you need to leave the relationship,” Crawford Hentz says.
“While people can and do change, it is not very often that this change happens because someone asks them to.
“Remember, your relationship structure is serving the other person or people. They may not want it to change because having you where you are and playing the role you do serves them.
“How does keeping you acting the way you are in the relationship serve the other person or people? And if it’s serving them, why would they want to change?”
In the types of situations where employees strongly feel that their moral compass is being stress tested and they are experiencing the urge to act in a way that is not normally themselves or resign and depart, there are recommendations to consider.
“As humans we are all subject to something called ‘presentism,’ which, as Harvard psychology professor Daniel Gilbert describes it, is the feeling that ‘now’ is ‘always,’” Birke says. “And of course, that’s not true.”
There are ways to slow down thinking and decide in a manner that is best for the long term.
“Maybe sleep on it. Maybe take a long walk and think about it. Do what it takes to make a decision that is informed and deliberate,” Birke says. “Don’t act in haste lest you feel regret — regret aversion is at least as powerful a psychological force as presentism.
“I’m not saying that you should stick it out at all costs,” Birke adds.
“There are times when divorce or quitting is the better option. While we should honor our feelings, we have to remember that feelings may be more transient than the consequences of rash action.”
“Care is required in these decisions as one has to carefully balance fear of change, hopelessness that change is or isn’t possible and the consequences: financial, social, academic, career,” Crawford Hentz says.
“Some situations are ‘built’ or sustained exactly so actors within them choose, over and over again, to stay in the relationship, situation or structure due to those potential losses. Those maintaining the relationships are counting on fear to change as a way to continue to keep the actor playing their part.”
She provides an analogy to further illustrate.
“A word about domestic violence and abusive situations. These are among the most deadly kinds of relationships, situations and structures,” Crawford Hentz says.
“The abuser has power, may have isolated the actors in the situation or ensured that the ‘costs’ of leaving are too steep,” she says. “In this situation, it is critical to reach out to organizations and advocates who can help you plan an extrication. In domestic violence situations, please reframe thinking to not if but how do I plan for when.
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