You Want to Know When People 'Don't Understand'

One helpful technique and how to create an environment for unsure and uneasy people to feel safe in seeking clarity

Judnefera Rasayon, a communication coach and Patrice Williams, a career coach and leadership development expert

Moments in the workplace may dictate that there isn’t much time for communication. Clarity thus gets assumed. It’s not always there though. That means risk is lurking. There are ways, however, to increase the probability of increased understanding.

Under pressure, communication effectiveness can suffer because of a sense of urgency. What may initially help reduce risks is simple yet not always implemented.

“We can introduce the pause, even if it’s relatively brief, by demonstrating it ourselves in conversation and modeling it for others,” says Judnefera Rasayon, a communication coach at Judnefera Rasayon Coaching, where she specializes in helping women uncover their blind spots and communicate effectively to get the recognition they deserve.

“Ideally, there is some discussion of the company or team culture whenever new employees are brought on and it’s part of the culture and clearly stated that taking a moment to collect your thoughts, or pause before answering a question, is okay.

“However, if that’s not the case, you can introduce it. If someone asks what you’re doing, you can tell them you’re taking a moment so that you can give them the best possible answer. We serve as a demonstration of what we want to cultivate.”

Rushing through communication is usually not as necessary as is thought or inferred.

“Urgency is often performative, manufactured to look productive while creating confusion in its wake,” asserts Patrice Williams Lindo, a career coach and leadership development expert at Career Nomad, a consultancy dedicated to leadership development.

“Most emergencies are just poor planning, wrapped in panic. I teach leaders and teams to insert intentional pauses as a communication standard, not an exception.”

She presents how to make them the common practice.

“Build in moments that interrupt the adrenaline loop,” Williams Lindo directs. “That means saying things like, ‘Let’s take a beat before we respond,’ or ‘Before we move on, what didn’t land yet?’

“You’re not slowing down progress,” she insists. “You’re making sure the foundation isn’t made of guesses and groupthink.”

Lindo Williams remains blunt in her guidance.

“Pressure doesn’t excuse poor communication,” she asserts. “Pressure is when your communication needs to be the clearest. If a pause can prevent a misfire, it’s not a delay. It’s a strategic reset.”

Judnefera Rasayon is a communication coach at Judnefera Rasayon Coaching

A lack of understanding, collectively or individually, can prevent accomplishment of objectives and the mission. This can be due to incomplete or poor communication.

Helping make it psychologically safe to say, "I don't understand" when people desire clarity is important. It’s not a given that people will seek it from others. They likely will resort to assuming and that isn’t the reliable path to desired outcomes.

“We can make it safe to say ‘I don’t understand’ by not punishing people for saying it,” Rasayon says. “Many times, even the most well-meaning individuals, will say that it’s safe for someone to say ‘I don’t understand’ but then punish those who say it.”

She elaborates as to how this looks.

“The punishment can be overt or subtle, perhaps someone makes a joke at the expense of the person who said they don’t understand. Or the person who’s asked for clarity gets chastised for making a meeting go on longer than was planned.”

This can be prevented.

“We need to ensure we are creating environments where seeking clarity and increased understanding isn’t punished,” Rasayon says.

“We need to explicitly tell people that it is better to ask questions earlier and clarify understanding than it is to guess and potentially create a situation where a problem has snowballed that could’ve been taken care of earlier, if someone had spoken up.”

Patrice Williams Lindo is a career coach and leadership development expert at Career Nomad

“I encourage teams to build language that makes clarity a shared goal, not an individual burden,” Williams Lindo says.

“Try reframing with team prompts:

• ‘What feels fuzzy before we lock this in?’
• ‘Assume nothing: what needs repeating?’
• ‘If someone’s unclear, speak now.’”

“And here’s the key: leaders must go first,” Lindo Williams advises.

“When I say, ‘Let me be honest, I didn’t follow that last point,’ it gives everyone else permission to be human too.”

Collective clarity isn’t just an ideal and option, she points out. It’s smarter and needed.

“Workplace miscommunication isn’t just annoying, it’s expensive,” she says. “We can’t afford to keep pretending that nodding means understanding.”

Instead, as we may have been told growing up, restate that, “smart people ask questions,” Lindo Williams says. “The real red flag is when no one does.”

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