When Important Messaging Isn't Getting Through to People

It may not always be what we believe is happening

Lesley Worthington is a communication and leadership coach

We aren’t communicating clearly, regardless of what we assume (“know”), when others aren’t fully understanding what we’re communicating. Rest assured, the same can go for people are communicating with us.

What’s interesting is that we know how unclear other people can be when they aren’t expressing themselves well. We just don’t think that we too can struggle in the minds of other people. When that happens we can get frustrated or angry. Most people can connect the dots. The onus is on us to help them.

I’ve had both intelligent family members and close friends be overconfident that they are communicating well, yet leaving out what is necessary for clarity. It was baffling to them that someone listening closely wasn’t understanding them. So they point fingers.

I’ve witnessed this as well in business, the workplace, families, friendships, romantic relationships, in social situations and online. It’s a common problem.

No one thinks that their communication is the issue. It’s always, in their mind, the other person. That’s not usually the reason.

Why do I bring this up? Because of 1) the importance of assisting others in creating clarity and 2) something I just read that reminded me of this challenge.

“You’re smart, capable and experienced and you’re not exactly new to this: so why does it still feel like people sometimes miss the point? Or misinterpret your message? Or not take action when it’s crystal clear what they’re meant to do?” rhetorically asked Lesley Worthington, a communication and leadership coach who also writes and publishes on Substack.