When and How Trust Develops Fast
It starts with what we our brains are naturally conditioned to seek
Trust is often difficult to build as rapidly as we intend and hope yet interestingly enough it may be easier the more important the stakes, real or perceived.
It’s a point that Sanita Pukite, a leadership coach and facilitator, recently detailed and asserted in her Lead from Within newsletter.
She wrote about the experience, observation and reasoning twhich resulted in this particular lesson for her. Pukite used a subheading: Trust at Altitude, to set the scene.
She was part of a group that went to the top of Mt. Ararat, Turkey’s highest mountain. During that effort, Pukite noticed how the group built trust among them as they “helped, supported and lifted each other.” No surprise, really, of course.
“One teammate nearly collapsed from exhaustion when reaching the summit and others instinctively reached out to help,” she added. “When the winds became so disorienting, that I could see no direction anymore, our guide stepped in — quick, responsive, grounded and got us quickly down, back to sun and safety.”
Pukite connected this revelation to her professional work with leaders and organizations. Her conclusion and point is that “trust takes time" is a “myth.”
“Fast trust is possible, when it’s grounded in purpose and presence,” she argued.
There was a specific thinking process of curiosity as well that led her to this conviction:
“So how did strangers from different countries, speaking different languages, with vastly different life stories, form trust so quickly?” she asked. “It wasn’t magic. It was shared values and excitement about the journey.”
Pukite elaborated by explaining what made trust possible in the moment was “a common commitment, an individual and collective desire to stretch and prove themselves — and open vulnerability.”
This all makes sense.
“In emotionally heightened situations, we look for signals of safety and shared purpose,” says Dawn Ledet, The Self Trust Coach for entrepreneurs and executives in service based industries. “Someone who leads with presence can trigger our brain to disarm fear and engage instead of feeling the need to move into defensive mode.”
She explains how this materializes.
“If a clear sense of purpose is introduced into the mix, something that serves more than self-interest, this sparks a powerful trust shortcut,” Ledet says.
The Psychology of It
In such circumstances, when people recognize it’s not just about one person, that the attempt is for more than that, it looks different and is usually felt as a positive.
“This taps into what's called ‘benevolent intent,’ our belief that someone's actions are for the greater good,” Ledet says. “When our perception of another person is that they share an aligned purpose and then they demonstrate attunement in real time, we instinctively relax. We stop posturing or protecting and start connecting.”
It goes to the root of what people may most need in the moment.
“This creates fast trust conditions, especially when stakes are high, emotions are charged and we are craving clarity and stability,” Ledet says.
How it Works
There is science involved and that needs to take place.
“From a neuroscience lens, mirroring calm and purposeful behavior can help to regulate group nervous systems,” Ledet explains. “Emotionally, it allows people to feel seen and safe — two prerequisites for trust.
“Purpose shows people what you stand for and presence shows them they matter. That combo builds influence fast, not through manipulations but through modeling.”
Teaming
“Teaming,” Pukite wrote, “is the ability to collaborate quickly in high-stakes, uncertain environments.” She wrote that months of bonding is not a requirement when trust is necessary in the moment.
It makes natural sense, even if we may not always fully, consciously understand the reasons immediately. It’s helpful though to learn the “why” behind it.
“It is the brain's default nature, in high stakes moments, to look for ‘who's with me in this?’” Ledet says. “There is an emotional incentive to band together when we face pressure together, which accelerates trust.”
That Need to Feel Safe First
“Our brains are always scanning for safety and often in high stakes, it decides it is safer to trust than not trust,” Ledet points out. “It is safer to be with others than on your own: shared responsibility, shared blame. Teaming happens, not because the conditions are ideal but because the people decide to share in both.”
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In 2008, when the recession hit, my boss was faced with the grim task of laying people off. I asked him to hold off for two days because we were in the middle of breaking JCPenney as an account — I worked in fashion at the time. We were transparent, and I basically convinced my boss to have everyone take a 20% pay cut instead of being fired. That way, we saved most of the jobs.
I then told the team that if they helped me secure the account and the first order, their wages would be reinstated with a bonus. They worked incredibly hard, motivated by the fact that we didn’t want our colleagues to be let go. And it worked.
When shit gets real, people either step up together or fall apart.
Happy Wednesday, Michael.