Trusted Business-Connection Approach Based on Shared Problem Solving
Opportunities to learn from others can come from first focusing on helping them
It’s beneficial when trying to connect to people you determine as worthy of getting to know professionally to humbly, skillfully show them your helpfulness with problems they have expressed. This can clearly convey your value and help you stand out in ways other people often don’t.
Instead of ingratiating yourself, think of how you can be useful.
Michael Sartain, a speaker, podcast host and founder of Men of Action Mentoring talks in a video clip on his Instagram page how he differentiates himself from "yes" people by directly stating to certain people accustomed to hearing very little else but “yes” that he is not trying to extract anything from the interaction and relationship.
He speaks to how this is often received and how it impacts initial and ongoing trust, connection and relationship longevity.
“Initially, their reaction is pretty neutral,” Sartain says, adding, “However, over time, after several years of friendship where I've never asked them for anything, unlike the yes-men who are always seeking investments or financial favors, they start to realize that what I've said is true,” he says.
“The reason I maintain these friendships is because their knowledge helps me solve problems; I do ask for knowledge from them, which doesn't cost anything,” he adds.
Sartain goes deeper into experiences, insights and wisdom.
“I appreciate it when people ask me for knowledge, so it's reciprocal,'“ he says.
“Importantly, I never ask them for money, nor do I get involved in personal issues like some others might. This approach sets me apart because, after a decade or so, their circle of yes-men often disappears, yet I'm still there.”
This gets clearly noticed and proves to be highly respected and desired.
“They appreciate that whenever we hang out, it's about solving problems or exchanging knowledge, not about financial gain or personal drama,” Sartain says.
Developing, improving and carrying a particular mindset into interactions that might not always feel natural or top of mind for everyone can be helpful.
“Humility is key,” Sartain advises. “I express my care for friends by helping them solve their problems. I have the humility to listen to them and learn, acquiring skills and insights that make me more successful. At the same time, I pay attention to their challenges and do my best to help out.”
The method is an act of respect which can build, grow and maintain trust.
“When you consistently approach relationships this way, you'll find that successful people naturally gravitate toward you,” Sartain has learned. “Sometimes, you don't even have to chase after them. They just come into your life.”
He recaps what has worked for him and can do the same for others.
“I've never asked them for money or favors. What I do ask for is knowledge and I'm always focused on solving their problems,” Sartain stresses.
He offers an analogy gleaned from his Air Force-service background.
“It's like how military officers or men often communicate — demonstrating value by solving problems for them,” Sartain states. “Compliments and gifts are secondary.
“The people closest to me are those who actively solve problems for me.”
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