Should You Inform Leaders About Criticisms of Them That You've Learned?
Why, despite the risks, the answer is almost always, "yes."
Do leaders need to be informed about the criticism being communicated about them?
MSNBC host Symone Sanders-Townsend was recently talking about this very topic with another MSNBC host, Jen Psaki.
Sanders-Townsend, the former chief spokesperson and senior adviser for Vice President and Democratic presidential nominee Kamala Harris and Psaki, who served in the Obama and Biden administrations, including as White House press secretary, were conversing about making sure Harris knew of important criticisms about her.
"… she was always aware of the criticism of her, right?" Sanders-Townsend says. "When I worked there, we didn't hide it from her. But it did not deter her.
“It was something though that I think any candidate, any candidate, any person in power needs to be aware of — the criticism.”
Sanders-Townsend elaborated as to why she is convinced that communicating this disapproval that is being circulated is a responsibility.
"… when you're not aware, the last thing you want is your candidate, your principal, the vice president of the United States of America, to be out there and someone says something and they're like ‘Well, what’s that all about?'“ Sanders-Townsend says.
It is a point on which Psaki agrees.
"Yeah," she says. "… it's important for them to be aware... It's how they respond to it (that matters)."
It is absolutely a responsibility for those close to a leader to convey to them the negativity that is being circulated about them personally, says Mary Beth West, a public relations advisor with expertise in strategic management.
“Withholding information — and thereby creating known information voids — works at cross purposes to any leader’s agenda of understanding their stakeholders and being accurately understood in return,” she states.
People in authority and power may express that they don’t want to know about or hear about criticisms or they may often dismiss them but they do want to know what those criticisms are and from whom they are originating.
“No leader wants to wake up one day and suddenly realize that their blind spot is so gaping that they’re embarrassing themselves and others through their lack of self-awareness — like that old parable of ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes,’ in which the leader suddenly realizes, while parading about, that he has no clothes at all,” West states.
Her viewpoint is that, “Truthful communication of difficult information is the most critical truth-telling of all.”
A question that can be asked is whether this task is a matter of ethics, regardless of the leader's temperament. It’s not simple to convey criticisms when there are risks to the giver, from emotional, psychological, job, financial and career well-being.
“There is no ethical responsibility to share criticism with a leader who has not demonstrated the capacity to handle such information,” says Rhonda Y. Williams, the CEO of Above the Grind Leadership and the founder of LEADJITSU.
She explains why.
“Psychological safety is something that human beings seek. The brain's primary responsibility is to keep us safe,” Williams points out.
“When we determine conversations are dangerous — i.e., risking livelihood, retaliations, etc., most people will disengage from such discussions as a general rule.”
She does add that when vital feedback has to be communicated, selecting a person — or different people — with the proper strengths is necessary and helpful.
“In circumstances such as government roles like the presidency, it is incumbent on the president to surround themselves with a team who is confident and savvy enough to convey difficult feedback, even when they believe it will not be well received.”
“In today's workplace, it's better for a leader to hear tough feedback face to face from an employee than for people to feel like the only way to deliver it is anonymously online through channels like Glassdoor or social media,” says Sara Lobkovich, a non-practicing attorney and strategy executive at Red Currant Collective, a consultancy that works with organizations and people wired for purpose, progress and change.
“If you're the employee, it may be risky to share criticism with your leader, but again, it's better for them to hear it from you than to risk broader exposure.
“And for you (personally), if the feedback is about something really important, it's almost equivalent to self-abandonment to see something and not say something.
“The risk of harm to your own motivation may not be outweighed by the risk of a poor leader reaction.
“If a leader reacts poorly to justified and diplomatically-delivered feedback, that's important information for you to have as you decide whether-and-how to invest your time, energy and labor into the organization."
“As the CEO, I always want to be improving as a person, leader and physician, which absolutely means receiving criticism from others, respectfully,” says Danielle Kelvas, MD, a primary care physician and the chief medical editor of DKMD Consulting.
She provides a recent example to illustrate the importance and value of feedback, which may not feel good in the moment, yet is valuable.
In this situation, the criticism was being delivered by the direct source of it.
“A few months ago, one of my assistants told me flat out that my organization skills, or lack thereof, were really stressing her out and she offered to redesign some of my work flows,” Kelvas says. “I could have gotten cross or defensive but humbly I realized ‘you know, honestly she's 100% right.’ We spent the next 6 months optimizing work flows and because she spoke up, all of our lives are so much better.”
She makes sure to point out that this was made easier for her employee because psychological safety had been previously built into the organization.
“We've created a community of open communication and a feeling of stability,” Kelvas says.
To be among the most respected leaders, people in authority and power need to personally develop to be poised, humble and able to patiently, skillfully listen to criticism, especially if it's based in evidence.
"For one, it's an integrity issue,” says Lobkovich. “If a leader wants the right to give their reports constructive criticism, they do themselves well to model good skills for receiving criticism themselves.”
It’s helpful as well to show themselves to be the type of people worthy of trust, credibility and a devoted following.
“It's important for leaders to model intellectual humility and curiosity when employees raise feedback,” Lobkovich points out. “Especially today, when organizational failures are so visible thanks to social media, you're far better off to hear tough feedback from an internal staffer and be able to consider and potentially address it before it becomes a public problem.
She contends that what might create discomfort, fear or anger can be positively, reasonably reframed.
“Any feedback is information that's important for you to know — you don't have to implement changes in response to every bit you receive but if you don't hear it, you don't get the chance to consider its importance or validity,” Lobkovich offers as a reminder.
Relationship benefits and influence is there for the taking.
“If you establish a pattern of a calm, mature, diplomatic response to critical feedback,” Lobkovich recommends, “you earn your organization's trust to share information with you even when it's hard to hear."
Courage should be considered invaluable risk management for relationships and in the best interests of a leader and the mission.
“In most instances, leaders who do not demonstrate confidence and poise, risk hearing ‘yes’ or silence instead of the truth,” Williams warns. “The effect is potentially damaging to the leader and the organization when the leader is not fully informed.”
Comfort and psychological safety usually doesn’t come easy or without concerted, sustained effort. It’s vital to make create that landscape.
“An essential part of a leader's responsibility is creating a culture where anyone on the team can share information that is in the best interest of all involved,” Williams says.
“This culture is directly tied to how the leader responds or reacts when presented with unfavorable information. This is true both in general business organizations and in healthcare where some may be hesitant to criticize highly regarded physicians.”
“Leaders who operate by a ‘kill the messenger’ mentality can quite easily cultivate a ‘Yes-Man’ brigade of people pleasers rewarded by only saying things the leader wishes to hear,” West says.
“Such leaders aren’t leaders as much as egotists and they usually pave the way to their demise by systemically filtering out truth and reality from their sphere.
“The truth will catch up to them ultimately though, from the masses who don’t care about catering to the leader’s ego. And it can be a hard fall.”
Understanding reality can get forgotten yet it shouldn’t happen, Kelvas says.
“I don't care how far along you are in your career or how much money you've accumulated, we are all in-process,” she says.
“Every morning I wake up thinking, ‘Ok how can I grow today?’ Because I know that I haven't arrived.’ We've never ‘made it’ or are suddenly perfect.”
If criticizing your people is a common habit, it’s one to think about more intelligently.
“A huge pet peeve of mine is listening to colleagues or friends talk about how bad their staff is,” Kelvas laments.
“My thought is, ‘Listen, you are the common denominator. There's no way that all of your staff are incompetent.
“Have you stopped to consider if you're a poor listener or communicator? What skills do you need to improve so that you bring out the best in your staff, instead of blaming them for your weaknesses?”
Feedback and with that, criticism, is part of human interaction, organizations and leadership and it needs to go different directions, not just one.
“If you want to be successful, learn how to give and receive feedback. When one of my staff makes a mistake, the first person I evaluate is myself,” Kelvas says.
“‘What could I have done better to help this person succeed? What did I miss?’ Or perhaps I've put them on a project that they're just not ready for yet?’”
Criticism almost never feels good and doesn't feel sufficiently reduced when a trusted person shares what others are communicating.
Maybe there is a reliably-effective approach to sensitively and successfully share criticism with leaders in a manner that is more likely to result in a desired response.
“Couch criticism with a positive, but also truthful observation first and make critiques less personal and more about facts, data, and quantified realities,” West advises.
She provides an example to teach and inspire ideas.
“‘Your outstanding policy insights have achieved important resonance with our base, and now, our task is to bridge gaps that the data show you’re facing with these other important constituencies.’
Or “‘Everyone on your team respects and values your commitment to this core issue, so let’s achieve that same understanding with these other diverse stakeholders who need to see X, Y, and Z from a leader they trust.’’”
“There are several strategies that can help us deliver sensitive information effectively,” Williams offers.
“Check your source and the purpose of delivering the message. You want to ensure you are coming from a place of positive intent.
“Ensure you are tactful when delivering sensitive information. Tone and body language matters and empathy can go a long way.
“Timing is everything. Ensure the time and the place is appropriate for the discussion.
“Ask for permission to share some potentially sensitive information.
“Keep the conversation fact-focused, avoiding generalizations, such as ‘always’ or ‘never.’
“Be prepared. What will be your next move if the information is not received well? Do you exit gracefully? Is it essential to push the issue? Do you provide options for validating the information? In essence, have a plan,’ Williams says in conclusion.
"In some situations, the right call is to take a deep breath and just come out with it,” Lobkovich asserts. “When that's the case, make sure you are well-regulated (emotionally) to deliver the feedback calmly and to remain calm regardless of the reaction or response.
“Put yourself in the other person's shoes and be empathetic: They may need a minute to regulate themselves and get over their first emotional reaction.
“When the situation merits, I'm also a huge fan of delivering feedback through curious questioning.
“In some situations, you can come at feedback through a question: ‘Hey, I noticed you do X, can you tell me why you do?’ That opens the door to a mutually-curious conversation and, if you develop your own coaching skills, which every person in the workplace can benefit from, you may even be able to question the person to self-awareness without delivering the feedback outright,” Lobkovich discovered and says.
Kelvas has her own special method.
“First, ask if now is a good time to deliver feedback? We all have tough days and timing is everything. Give them space to say ‘no,’ and if they say ‘no,’ then ask when a good time would be. Schedule the feedback session.
“Build the person up. Highlight their skills and gifts and let them know you appreciate them for X, Y or Z.
“Then follow this formula: When you do X, it makes us feel X or results in X. In the future, it would be most beneficial if you could do X. Because if not, then X will happen,” Kelvas states.
To be credible, she is open to being communicated with in this way herself.
“I've taught my staff to communicate with me using this formula,” Kelvas says. “It also primes me that this is positive criticism, coming from a good place, verses a random stab or snide remark… Even if they react poorly in the moment, your words will marinate and the message will land.”
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