Seeing Stressful Interactions and People More Accurately at Work
Stop personalizing and start observing through a more knowledgeable lens and feel less stress and more at peace
Special Contribution and Advisory by Tatiana Teppoeva, PhD
Founder at One Nonverbal Ecosystem
If you ever felt intimidated by someone at work, by that co-worker who always seems composed, confident and maybe too perfect, you may know that it's easy to shrink, assume you're not enough and belittle yourself.
In my work decoding nonverbal communication and personality patterns, I’ve seen time and again: what feels personal is often not personal at all.
Once we learn to read the real signals, from personality type to body language, our perception shifts. We start looking at the situation from a different angle, without getting engaged emotionally ourselves.
You Feel Intimidated, Now What?
What can we do to shift the dynamic of our thinking and stop treating our emotional reaction as the whole story? When we feel intimidated, we tend to assume the other person is intimidating us. But if we pause and read their body language, we can start to decode what’s going on and see whether they are truly intimidating or simply confident, and it is our own reaction that gets in the way.
This is where personality profiling becomes very useful.
If we understand someone’s core personality type, for example, a Performer who seeks attention, or a Strategist who seeks control, then we can better understand their motivation and interpret their nonverbal cues more accurately. Instead of reacting from insecurity, we can respond from insight.
I had a client recently who got very emotional during a session, what some might call dramatic. I could’ve easily felt intimidated by her reaction, not because she was more skilled, but because of how intense her behavior was.
But I recognized her type, the Performer, and I knew this wasn’t aggression toward me; it was her way of releasing stress.
I didn’t take it personally and stayed calm. Later she asked why I didn’t get upset like others usually do and whether it had something to do with profiling. And of course, it did. I knew what was going on internally for her based on her personality type, and I knew she would regret it later. My calm response helped her calm down, too, we are still in close communication today.
Reframe the Dynamic and Take Back Your Power
The goal isn’t to mimic the other person or to compete. It’s to decode what's going on underneath. When we understand the signals they’re sending and the reasons beneath them, we can respond in a way that creates connection instead of tension.
How can we learn to see and think of the other person who seems so far above us in their work and reframe the collaboration in a smarter light to interact more confidently and successfully?
One way I help clients navigate these moments is by teaching them how to understand both their own type and the other person’s.
When someone seems far above us, insecurity gets triggered but if we can understand why they behave the way they do and why we feel the way we do, then we begin to see what's behind the wall.
A Performer might seem flashy or dominant, but they’re simply craving validation. If we give them that, they relax.
A Strategist might appear cold or controlling but what they want is precision and clarity. If they feel heard and respected, they open more. When we know that, we stop taking things personally. We interact with insight instead of comparison or reaction.
It’s not about trying to be like them, it's not about losing ourselves, it’s about understanding who they are, what they really need and building this trust and understanding between us. And when we do, we can respond from our own strengths, instead of reacting from our doubts.
That alone can shift the entire dynamic and strengthen relationships, even with those who initially felt intimidating.
Everyone is Projecting Something
Once we know what to look for, we stop personalizing and start observing.
It’s not about being perfect, it’s about seeing clearly.
Because once we do, our confidence becomes less about who we’re up against and more about how well we understand the person’s personality and how we can align, so it benefits both sides.
When we do, we often hear the most telling feedback:
“We just get along so well with you.”
Tatiana Teppoeva, PhD, is a certified personality profiler and nonverbal communication expert and the founder at One Nonverbal Ecosystem. She helps sales teams, leaders and founders elevate executive presence and close more high-ticket deals through a blend of body language, personality decoding and strategic communication.