Performance Breakthrough of Third Element Leadership
"Two things became clear to me," says Randy Lyman
By Randy Lyman, a physicist-turned-entrepreneur who built and exited 8-figure businesses by mastering the power of emotions
February 7, 2025
I have found improving our business relationships involves a simple mathematical principle. Just as in science and math, if we are going to solve any problem, we need to have sufficient information.
In order to have smooth interpersonal relations and clear communications, we need to include all three components of the human experience — the mental, physical and emotional aspects — in all of our communications and interactions, especially when solving problems, collaborating or implementing change.
It’s a lot like the weakest link in a chain.
No matter how great a plan we have and how hard we work to push toward a solution, if anyone we’re working with is experiencing tension, we need to address it in a positive manner in order to get past the tension and help everyone involved reach peak performance.
If we leave the emotional component out of the equation, we are much less likely to achieve the best possible results.
In my late twenties, I had already built two multimillion-dollar businesses, but somehow, I knew something was still missing, even though at the time I wasn’t sure what was missing.
It turned out thinking and hard work were not enough. Incorporating the human emotional element into my leadership style was what I needed in order to be the best leader I could be and get the best possible results from the people I was working with.
When I began my transformation from a left-brain analytical approach to leadership, to also including right-brain creative exercises, activities and compassion, it required an investment of time and effort to learn and adapt to a new way of showing up to work.
In the beginning, I experimented with a few small changes: taking more time to listen and being more open to including other’s ideas, looking for reason to praise instead of always being critical, showing more appreciation for everyone around me.
After adapting to this new way of leading, my life became so much easier as those I worked with responded well to my new approach.
My consideration of people’s feelings led to them being happier at work, thinking clearer and working harder. And as they became more productive and effective, my businesses grew to be far more successful.
It is said that we have two ears and one mouth because listening is more important than talking.
“It took a lot of practice for me to make it a habit of talking less and listening more; and to truly hear what people had to say.”
Along the way, I was lucky enough to experience an epiphany at a team meeting that made it abundantly clear I still had room to grow. At that meeting, a mechanic named Robert shared an idea that I disagreed with. Robert seldom accepted changes easily and liked to push back hard on new ideas.
The difference this time was that I listened carefully to what he had to say before I let him know we couldn’t incorporate his idea into our business model. His response was simply “okay.”
“However, the particular way he said it had an impact on me. I asked him why he responded the way he did and he said that he was able to accept my decision because I had taken the time to listen to what he had to say.”
At that moment, two things became clear to me. Prior to that, I had not been listening as well as I could have been. And, by being a better listener, my effectiveness as a leader could improve.
After that day, Robert started listening to my ideas and pushed back less.
And as I became a better listener, people were more open to accepting my ideas and the direction I provided. That one change, becoming a better listener, improved the profits of my businesses several fold.
It might sound too easy to be true, but I guarantee it works.
There were of course other changes I had to make and techniques to learn and I made plenty of mistakes along the way. In the end, the positive results outweighed the challenges and learning curve I had to navigate during my transition.
“Over time, as I started to see how people responded better to me when I interacted with them more openly and I made a genuine effort to connect and understand them, it became easier and easier to soften my approach.”
Soon, my new approach with genuine care and connection led to so much success that there was really no way to turn back to my old left brain analytical-only approach.
Just as unseen forces such as magnetism or nuclear radiation can affect things in ways that are not obvious on the surface, people are not as happy and are less productive in an environment where leadership doesn’t take their individuality and need for human connection into consideration.
A balance of thinking, action and consideration of the emotional component is necessary when leading a group of people to reach their full potential.
Over the 30+ years after adopting a new approach, I have developed several programs and techniques for helping left-brain leaders take a more balanced approach to leading that includes considering how people feel at work.
All of the techniques and exercises I used are relatively simple and easy to implement, and available through my consulting and training programs.
If someone like me, a physicist who is naturally left-brain oriented, can change his approach to include more of the emotional human element in their day-to-day leadership style and achieve more through the balance of all three elements, anyone can, even if they are already a great leader.
For those who might wonder how far I take my focus on emotions, I think it’s important to note that although I always take emotions into consideration when interacting with others, emotions are never used as a basis for making decisions.
Logic and reason should always drive our decisions, just the same as communications should always include compassion and respect.
Randy Lyman’s new book, The Third Element, will be published in March of 2025. In it he clearly and carefully explains how we can take a logical approach to emotions in order to improve all areas of our personal and business lives.
Communication Intelligence normally publishes Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday, with occasional articles on other days. To advertise, sponsor a section of the newsletter or discuss your affiliate marketing program, contact CI.
