Pausing to Ask an Important Question
We might be programming our mind in error
We don’t just communicate with others. We interact deeply with ourselves.
Those internal conversations can be helpful yet may, in certain situations, benefit from questioning the emotions, assumptions and feelings.
“What story am I telling myself,” is a question that a writer recently proposed as a default test to help us closely examine what we are believing. It inspired a discussion.
“Claude Silver talks about being mindful of the song playing in your head,” says Oksana Lukash, chief people officer and advisor to the c-suite at at Golden Star Labs.
“That song might be fear, self doubt, comparison or old narratives that no longer serve you.”
That requires a skillful response.
“When we pause and ask, ‘What story am I telling myself right now, and what song am I playing,’ we interrupt the automatic emotional response and create (a) choice,” Lukash says. “Changing the song can change your entire outlook.”
There is a significant need for this approach, she adds.
“This practice is protective because it keeps us grounded in reality instead of assumption. It allows us to respond from values instead of reacting from exhaustion or insecurity,” Lukash says. “That is where self care becomes essential, not optional.
“When we are depleted, stressed, or burned out, our internal soundtrack almost always turns negative.”
She dives deeper to expand on the importance.
“Taking care of your mental and physical well-being is not a nice to have. It is a must have,” Lukash says. “A cell phone with a dead battery is useless. A car without gas is useless. If you are not rested, nourished and supported, your inner dialogue will reflect that.”
Keeping at It
“We turn this awareness into a habit by starting small and practicing it daily. … Pause and ask ‘what song just started playing?’ Then, intentionally choose a different one,” she recommends.
The Habit Produces Opportunity
“When we practice all of this consistently, entirely new outcomes become possible,” Lukash says. “When we take care of ourselves, shift our internal dialogue and show up grounded and confident, we attract different people and different opportunities. We find mentors who are further along the path we want to walk. Those mentors expand our thinking and show us what is possible.”
This improvement may also change what our mind chooses to accept and dismiss.
“We also become more discerning about whose advice we take,” Lukash asserts.
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Communication Intelligence began as online magazine (2021-2024) on another platform and during that time, also became a free-or-paid newsletter on Substack. The C.I. brand additionally offers individuals and organizations a variety of services, from written communications as well as communication consulting and coaching.
The newsletter is written by a former newspaper reporter, magazine writer, talk show host and communications consultant and advisor.
