When Leaders' Confidence is Shaken or Waning
Discussing what is happening and how to move through and out of it
The highest-ranking leaders, no matter the success they’ve achieved, are not immune to battles with confidence. What’s most important is what specifically they recall about themselves and what matters, how they learn to best respond and how promptly and successfully they engage in the process to prove resilient.
David Gergen passed away on July 10th yet not before building a resume that saw the political commentator and longtime presidential adviser serve during the administrations of Richard Nixon, Gerald Ford, Ronald Reagan and Bill Clinton.
In one of the news articles about his life, it was noted that Gergen said Clinton had lost his footing and self-confidence, so “we had to encourage him to rediscover his old strengths and reassert his own authenticity. And that worked.”
It can be surprising to the masses that leaders of this magnitude can struggle this way. It’s not as unusual as the public thinks. People often struggle silently.
Why it happens to accomplished people can become puzzling to observers.
“Leadership is emotional before it is strategic,” says Joseph A. Slota, a retired senior partner at Deloitte Consulting, founder of the Joe Slota Experience and an author of From the Streets to Global Seats.
“Even the strongest leaders can lose their edge when the pressures from immense volumes of ‘doing’ drown out the clarity of ‘being.’ They stop hearing their own voice. Pressure makes them reactive, yet sometimes, they confuse momentum for alignment.”
The declining assuredness can develop before or without performance shortcomings.
“Confidence erodes, not from failure, but from disconnection: from purpose, from people and from the personal story that got them there in the first place,” Slota says.
“As I wrote in my book, ‘If your compass goes silent, you’re no longer leading. You’re managing noise.’ Rediscovering strength means restoring that inner signal.”
It’s known that many people surprisingly feel out of place and uncertain of their competence for a particular role.
“Imposter syndrome. I think that’s what it comes down to,” says Alexa Rome, the director of public relations and communication at Omnus Law. “No matter how successful or experienced someone is, President of the United States included, there are moments when they question how they even got there.
“It's a lot more common than we think and when leaders start second-guessing themselves or trying to communicate in a way that doesn't feel natural, it erodes their confidence.”
Humans aren’t always on their A-game emotionally and it changes them when they end up off course from who they normally are in practice.
“Even the most seasoned leaders can lose their footing every now and again,” says Daphny Bravo, a spiritual strategist for visionary female leaders. “In an age where the social trends move faster than lighting, the external noise often drowns out internal clarity.
“This often happens during moments of crisis, transition or public pressure, when performance takes precedence over presence, the clarity and therein, the power of the individual leader suffers.”
At that point, instinct takes over and people do what feels natural, even if it isn’t what is most needed and what the time calls for doing.
“Leaders start operating from survival energy,” Bravo says, “trying to be who they think they need to be rather than honor who they truly are and ultimately what made them successful in the first place.”
It affects who people are and how they conduct themselves in the role and with other people.
“This is the moment where authenticity erodes and the once confident leader becomes a watered-down version of whatever seems culturally acceptable at the moment,” Bravo details. “The leaders effectiveness becomes virtually irrelevant as their actions are now tied to approval rather than alignment.”
Once in this state of emotional capture, a question becomes what can professionals do on their own to get back to who they are and increase their confidence and how they come across to the people they lead.
“People need tools to support themselves when things do not go their way,” asserts Ted Santos, CEO at Turnaround Investment Partners, Inc.
“Without tools, people will be triggered by childhood memories from a time they believe they failed themselves or someone else. There are many ways a person can be triggered to relive a childhood event.”
The response he recommends: “Learn the past events that trigger you,” Santos says. “Then reverse engineer them so you can unlearn them. Otherwise, you will fake confidence until someone sees through it. The person who sees fake confidence will smell blood and derail you.”
Know Who You Are and What You Don’t Have to Do
“I always tell the people I work with,” Rome says, “what you do every day is your expertise. You don't need to sound overly polished or formal. People want to hear from you. They want honesty, not spin. Confidence comes from remembering that your lived experience and day-to-day work are what make you credible.”
Reclaim Poise and Reflect
“Start by getting quiet, not silent, but speaking less,” Slota suggests. “Confidence isn’t volume, it’s clarity. As a seasoned leader myself, I have observed and deeply understood the best leaders and they didn’t need to shout. They modeled presence, balance and conviction that came from knowing who they were and why they showed up.”
He offers what he considers is a helpful exercise:
“Professionals should reconnect with what I call ‘the porch moments,’ — early lessons from family, mentors, hardship and their own personal guardians growing up that built their resilience,” Slota says.
“Confidence returns when purpose becomes personal again. Guardianship creates confidence. When you know who you serve, you lead differently.”
Think of It in a Broader Way
“Confidence isn’t just a mindset,” Bravo says. “It’s a measurable, energetic state rooted in a balanced nervous system and a belief of self-trust.”
"She has favored responses that he presents for helping her “clients restore confidence in their own inner brilliance,” which include ritualistic behaviors such as “grounding practices like breathwork, intentional stillness and movement and journaling,” which “can reawaken a leaders inner compass.”
She explains the goal.
“What you do is less important than the act of creating daily time and space to allow your inner voice to take center stage again,” Bravo says.
While it may not be top of mind, it’s helpful to “revisit lived wins.”
“Reflect not just on accomplishments but on the moments you felt most like yourself,” Bravo says. “There are clues in reflecting upon these golden eras of the past; clues about your forgotten strengths and maybe even how you lost your way to begin with.”
Pay Attention
“Use the body as feedback,” Bravo stresses. “If your voice shakes, your gut clenches or your chest tightens, that’s a message.
“Leaders who can listen to their bodies gain back their power more quickly. It can be a useful tool is identifying self sabotaging moments and navigating the traumas blocking our confidence.”
Gergen greatly assisted Clinton. Those who help leaders by encouraging, supporting and reminding them of who they are, urging them to "to rediscover their strengths and reassert" their best selves, often know how to inspire the people they serve.
“True advisors don’t echo, they reflect,” Slota says. “They know when to speak and when to hold a mirror.”
He elaborates about what he means:
“Encouraging a leader to rediscover their strengths starts with trust, not tactics,” Slota begins. “The job is to remind them who they are, not who the world says they need to be. Bring them back to the moments they were most alive, when people followed them not for titles, but for truth.
“The most powerful leadership doesn’t arrive with noise, it acts and returns with memory. Help them remember who they were, who they are and who they need to be to attract the people. They follow based upon the truth of who you are, not what you want them to think you are. Two different things.”
Questions as Keys
“It starts with helping them reconnect with why they’re doing this in the first place,” Rome says. “What do they care about? What's the goal they're working toward?
“From there, it’s about reminding them that they already are an expert and have the insight and perspective people are looking for.
“Sometimes the job is simply helping people recognize what’s already there.”
Continual Personal Development
“The wisest thing to do is to develop new competencies,” Santos advises.
“First, to uncover blind spots and mental barriers and confront them fearlessly. Second, develop greater competencies for the job they are doing. Third, practice those competencies.”
It’s About More than Confidence
“The goal,” in this situation, Bravo points out is, “to help them regain a sense of inner trust in their own authenticity so that who they are, what they believe and how they lead, are fully aligned with their 3D reality.”
She echoes what Slota advises, which is, people should “act as mirrors” with leaders for them to clearly see.
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There’s such a beautiful thread here about coming back to your essence, and how true leadership is more about presence than performance. I think we forget that when we're in the thick of expectations, noise, and public perception. Clarity wins all day, every day!
Have a good Thursday, Michael.