Knowing What You Want Out of a Conversation

Learning from past errors and adding a step before we communicate

Comedian Nate Bargatze asks a helpful question (Image credit: Greg Gayne)

There are times, retrospectively, when we can come to realize that our communication missed the mark and we didn’t elicit the response that we intended.

The emotions that accompany that understanding can be disappointment, discouragement, frustration or anger. Sometimes though, it’s embarrassment.

This goes for our professional and personal interactions.

Recently, a comedian — Nate Bargatze — talked about a situation where he was with a friend, said something that he thought was clever and quickly learned, from the response, that what he communicated, wasn’t as intelligent or funny as he had confidently assumed.

That illumination led him to say in his act, "I don't know what I wanted out of that."

That particular question could become an effective one before we speak in interactions and deeper conversations that we deem important to us professionally and personally.