How to Command Attention for Your Ideas
Becoming more influential and persuasive
There are particular approaches that can prove to be helpful in having your ideas and recommendations being taken seriously.
It can be difficult, for many of us, to be trusted to the degree that we believe we have proven and have our communication valued and heeded. It can be disappointing, discouraging, frustrating and maybe even, in certain circumstances, infuriating, when our ideas can’t get to the stage, so to speak, or are dismissed or critiqued in error.
This article presents encouraging news and concise, helpful guidance to move through the obstacles and blocks. Use it and share with others if you like.
Chris Mullen shared a post from Carolyn Frost on LinkedIn about how our best ideas are deserving of attention and the best way for them getting heard, understood and valued is communicating in a way that commands attention.
While 15 psychology chess moves were listed, this article will focus on select ones followed by brief Communication Intelligence elaboration on what was stated.
1️⃣ "Let me get your thoughts on something"
↳ Ask before sharing — the brain commits to what it helps create
Permission questions are attention getting because they are rarely asked. This particular question above shows respect and trust and invites people to share what they think. If people trust your character and intent, this approach can gain buy-in and produce a helpful communication exchange.
2️⃣ Drop your volume slightly when making key points
↳ Creates a natural lean-in effect that commands attention
I hesitated before including this one but I remembered also reading Chris Voss recommend it as a way to connect with people. He called it using a “radio voice.”
So, Frost + Voss = good enough for me. Lowering the volume of our communication is an interruption in the pattern of our speech so other peoples’ brains notice it and pay greater attention to listen and understand.
3️⃣ Use "what if" before sharing solutions
↳ Follow with silence to let creativity engage
There are some critics of this approach yet when I first learned about it, I saw it as a non-threatening manner in which to present ideas and inspire other people’s thinking and feedback. Yes, it can be overused. Used judiciously, it can be a conversation starter, a way to keep one going or a strategy to get a conversation unstuck.
4️⃣ Mirror their words thoughtfully in your response
↳ Write down key phrases they use for precision
This, I contend, is a proof of us paying attention and showing we’re listening (or reading attentively) and extending respect for what they say and feel.
If done well and sincerely, it can help lessen disinterest or resistance and build rapport and openness. Voss, like Frost, is a big proponent of mirroring.
This doesn’t mean parroting people in communication. It means taking segments of what they say and in moderation, using that speech in our replies with them to learn more or agree.
5️⃣ Start with "I noticed" instead of "I think"
↳ Shifts from opinion to observation for instant credibility
I found this one interesting. What do you think? Ah, what do you notice?
Maybe other people’s brains resonate stronger with hearing you and I say, “I notice” or “I noticed” more than “thinking” “thought.”
It also likely comes across as more confident.
6️⃣ Pause briefly after they finish speaking
↳ Watch their body language during the pause
This one is helpful because it allows for them to take a breath and for you to take in what they communicated. If we jump in too quickly, for some people, in some circumstances, it may come across as us not hearing or caring about what they said.
That’s a rapport and trust error of large magnitude.
7️⃣ Name the unspoken emotion in the room
↳ Keep your tone gentle when naming emotions to build trust
This takes observational skill, accuracy and a non-condescending tone to have any chance of working. Done poorly, it can be highly problematic. Done well, it can unearth emotions that can be discussed for mutual benefit.
8️⃣ Turn statements into curious questions
↳ Keep your face soft while asking tough questions
If we can use respectful, sincere curiosity in our communication, we can usually communicate on a higher plane, learn more and leave people feeling valued.
9️⃣ Replace "but" with "and" when responding
↳ Practice this daily in low-stakes conversations first
The social science says that when we use “but” people minimize the positive that was said before it and that using “and” is smarter, better communication.
Try it and see if you notice a difference. Also think back to how you feel about interactions and the people communicating with you when they use “but” about something that is displeasing to you. It doesn’t feel good.
1️⃣1️⃣ Lead with what you see, not what you assume
This is critically important when communicating. As humans, we’re highly emotional and when false conclusions or wrong judgments get made, it’s hard to come back from that with someone.
Mention what you see and with as much humility and room for learning as you can muster. Be willing to learn that what you see may not be correct (yes, it may be too).
We’d all like for our ideas and ourselves to be heard and valued. We’d like what we know and communicate to matter.
We don’t control all variables in that equation yet, more often than not, we can positively influence it and give ourselves a favorable chance.
To do so, we have to communicate in a manner that expertly navigates the landscape of emotions — ours and other people’s — and people’s reasonable expectations.
If we do, the odds are more in our favor to “command attention.”
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