Helpful Response to High-Impact Generational Trauma

"Pay attention to the patterns that keep appearing in your life. Those are your signposts that something needs healing"

Generational trauma.

How aware of it are we and to what degree? In certain families, situations and lives, those are valuable and critical questions for which to have answers.

“One surprising factor is that generational trauma can be inherited and it can be the hidden root cause of someone’s emotional, physical, mental or even financial challenges,” says Blanka Molnar, a therapist, coach and Family Constellation practitioner at her company, Awarenest.

“Most generational wounds are unconscious or unknown,” she points out. “After all, how would you know what happened seven generations ago? Yet, those unresolved experiences can still shape your, or your children’s, lives in profound ways.”

She goes deeper into how this psychologically and behaviorally affects people, how the trauma impacts them.

Unresolved traumas can show up as “repeating behavioral patterns,” Molnar begins. “For example, attracting people with addictions as friends or partners. Or finding yourself bullied at work. Or repeatedly initiating relationships with unattainable people, such as married individuals. Or the urge to gamble away money.

“The same is true for kids. When a child is bullied in school, I highly recommend setting up a Family Constellation session, as it might be rooted in an unrevealed generational trauma.”

She continues by saying that our physical health can be impacted too, through “chronic or severe illnesses, like cancer, thyroid issues, chronic inflammation and heart attack” as well as our emotional health, such as “ADHD, bipolar disorder, PTSD, anxiety or depression.”

In personal relationships, it is often said that people carry and should be aware of "emotional baggage," other people’s and their own, accumulated from prior experiences, hurt, pain and suffering. Could this be similar to generational trauma that gets passed down? It’s a worthy question to consider.

“I use ‘emotional baggage’ a lot when I explain Family Constellation,” Molnar says.

“It's like you leave for a hike but apart from the necessary tools and equipment like a water bottle, snacks, boots, tents, etc., you actually carry heavy stones in your backpack that you do not even realize are in your bag,” she says to illustrate. “They weigh you down and slow you down on your journey, climbing your mountains.”

Identifying them and successfully moving through this struggle to a meaningful level of release, healing and a healthier life becomes a hard road ahead.

“The first step toward healing is acknowledging that something needs to change,” Molnar says. “Then, start to track and recognize recurring patterns in your life. These often hold the key to what needs resolution, because inherited trauma can be challenging to uncover alone. You probably need to reach out for professional help.”

That assistance can included “powerful methods and tools like Family Constellation therapy, journaling, meditation and inner child work, which is re-integrating the wounded parts that got stuck in the past due to a trauma,” Molnar says.

This can act as a catalyst to “support profound healing and lasting transformation.”

She explains how those approaches and applications can prove most helpful.

“To start, pay attention to the patterns that keep appearing in your life. Those are your signposts that something needs healing,” Molnar explains.

“Instead of ‘sedating them’ or trying to get rid of them — spoiler alert, in the long term, it doesn't work — use them as ‘friends’ who want the best for you, aka those who help with healing.”

She talks briefly about Family Constellation therapy, which she asserts helps address “the root issues.”

“In a session, we revisit the original event and through conversations, we return the burden and responsibility to the person to whom they belong,” Molnar details.

“The magic of Family Constellation that you might miss through journaling and meditation is that it works with patterns you are not even aware of.”

She provides an example.

“You cannot journal about your great-grandmother's survivor's guilt, as you would not know about it unless you have heard some family anecdotes," Molnar says.

She doesn’t dismiss other methods. She says though they may leaving you not knowing all that would be beneficial to learn and realize to help you gain a necessary fuller understanding to heal and move forward stronger.

“Through meditation and journaling, you might be hit by some ‘a-ha moments’ but the majority of people need support from somebody else,” Molnar has learned and observed.

There is a reason for this finding.

“In most cases, we do not see the forest from the trees and we need some external forces, a sounding board, to shine light on connecting the dots, somebody who is not emotionally involved in the situation,” she says.

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