Discovering Our Stress Patterns to 'Anticipate and Metabolize Them'
Making a decision to not to get 'trapped' and become captive
People have stress patterns, ones about which that they may or may not be fully or even partially aware. It’s critical to increase awareness to know how to better respond and move through life.
Sanita Pukite helps senior leaders navigate complexity, perform under pressure and lead with grounded presence to amplify their influence and impact and she wrote about what we really need to grasp.
“Learn your stress patterns,” she wrote. “Know your freeze, flight, appease tendencies. Develop disruption mechanisms to stay centered.”
This type of deep dive has to start at the root for clarity.
“Understand your emotional triggers,” Pukite added. “Not to avoid them but to anticipate and metabolize them in real time.”
Developing disruption mechanisms for stress patterns so our responses assist us to stay balanced emotionally and decision wise can be a difficult task if we are not knowledgeable about the process.
“Stress is unavoidable but the goal is to recognize it and address it before it becomes overwhelming and we’re stuck in reaction mode,” says Jenine Camins, a performance and mindset coach and mindfulness trainer at UQ Mindfulness.
She recommends what she says are “three easy ways” to disrupt the pattern:
“The first is understanding your stress signals and being able to recognize what stress feels like in your own body,” Camins says. “For some, it might be a racing heartrate. For others, it might be irritability or a tightness in their chest.”
This is important research to conduct on oneself because when these signals are identified and verified as regular reactions, a person can develop a response plan.
“Once you recognize it, you can address it before it gets out of hand and becomes unhealthy,” Camins says. “Techniques to move past a stress response could include movement, music, breathing exercises, meditation; anything to get out of your head and into your body.”
Regulating overload effectively and efficiently is a helpful strategy.
“Another disruption technique is preventing stress from accumulating in the first place,” Camins advises. “This would include regular check-ins like the STOP technique: Stop what you’re doing. Take a breath. Observe what your thoughts, emotions and sensations are. Then, Proceed.
“The last step could be deciding to step away and take a break or it could be to continue. The stress reaction has been disrupted, so if you are stressed, you’ve noticed it and will proceed with awareness.”
She presents one more idea.
“‘Name It To Tame It’ is a great technique. This includes developing your vocabulary of emotions. During check-ins, notice your thoughts and sensations,” Camins says. “Name what you’re feeling. Scared feels slightly different than anxious. And ecstatic feels different than satisfied.
“When you know how you’re feeling, you are choosing a more appropriate and helpful response. If you realize you’re overwhelmed, you will proceed differently than if you are on autopilot and acting out of frustration and anger.”
“It starts with simply building awareness of our traps that drag us into the stressed mode,” says David Franco, a mental performance coach with a background in both business and sports psychology, who has worked with athletes, musicians and business professionals, including his work as the Mental Performance Coach of the Texas Rangers when they won Major League Baseball’s 2023 World Series.
He elaborates:
“We can build a mental toolbox to help us stay centered even in the midst of extreme stress,” Franco says. “Some of these tools include identifying negative self-talk and choosing a positive affirmation such as, ‘I am made for this,’ or ‘It feels like I failed, but I am really just one step closer to my goal.’”
When he speaks of a trap, it may conjure up a vivid image.
“‘Traps’ simply mean common situations or emotions that lead to us falling into our established stress patterns,” Franco says. “Once we are able to identify our common traps, we can begin outlining how we want to respond instead of defaulting to our normal stress patterns.”
He provides an example to illustrate.
“If I know that after losing a potential sale I tend to beat myself up and stay in a negative mindset for the next few hours, it’s important to build out a routine for those situations,” Franco recommends.
”For anyone in sales, we know that this situation will continue to arise, so having a set response gives us the best opportunity to shift our focus in those moments to what’s truly important... such as taking a breath, focusing on some of the positive accomplishments from my past, connecting to my ‘why’ and my goals and then attacking that next sales call with complete confidence and commitment.”
His professional experience and observations have shown him something he shares.
“I’ve found with my clients that it usually takes a two-pronged approach,” Franco say. “Correct your perspective and then preset a response to how you want to react instead of how you feel in the moment.”
Pattern identification is more important for people than is known or presumed.
“Without understanding your stress patterns, you are at the whim of your emotions, simply reacting to whatever is happening in and around your life,” Camins says.
“You are on autopilot and have released any control and ownership of your thoughts, emotions and actions.”
Franco is of a similar mindset.
“Awareness is everything,” he stresses. “If you don’t have an awareness of your patterns, you’ll continue to fall into them.
“Because our stress patterns may change depending on the trigger, I encourage my clients to journal.”
Franco explains why he is a proponent of this practice.
“This can lead to profound personal revelation, uncovering toxic thought patterns or negative thinking that is hindering growth,” he says.
People can create greater agency in their lives the more they come to know and recognize default thinking.
“Learning your stress patterns, understanding the nuances between emotions and having a plan for healthy ways that work for you for stress management, not only helps you manage stress better but you also are able to be an active, present participant in your life,” Camins details.
“You’re choosing to not ride on the crazy train of stress with life being a blur around you.”
The Simple, Reliable Approach
“Be mindful of your self-talk in your stressful moments,” Franco advises.
“Consider your personal routines. Build in life-giving activities throughout your schedule such as walking, social events with family or friends, exercise or a gratitude practice.”
A Large Menu
“There is no shortage of resources: apps, podcasts, books, etc. to get your started,” Camins says.
“Meditation can be intimidating for many frustrated with the practice, believing they’re not doing it right. Even learning to take a few mindful breaths is a great start.
“For a more personalized approach, working with a mindfulness or resiliency coach or teacher can be helpful in recognizing your patterns and a more personalized plan. The goal isn’t one ‘perfect’ tool,” she says as a reminder.
“It’s finding the one you’ll actually do. Then, it’s perfect for you.”