Criticism That People Accept or Reject
When it is deemed helpful and when it's not well received and beneficial
People are emotionally wired and thus, receiving criticism doesn’t often inspire a positive experience, post-moment feeling or the desired response and improvement.
"I don't know how you can improve if you can't accept constructive criticism,” once said 6-time Super Bowl winning head coach Bill Belichick.
At relative peace with criticism at work or not
“Criticism should always come from a place of honesty and with the intention of helping,” says Michael Khoury, the chief executive officer at Go Vertical ICM, a company that assists in driving innovation and delivering market-ready solutions for inventors, startups and businesses.
“When I receive criticism, our approach is to listen first, ask questions to ensure we fully understand the perspective and then evaluate if it aligns with the goals of the company or my personal growth. We choose to focus on more constructive conversations that foster growth rather than tearing someone or something down.”
The proper framing is useful for the work we do and responsibilities we accept.
“Criticism is an unavoidable part of any job,” says C.L. Mike Schmidt, a defense and corporate law attorney at Schmidt and Clark.
“Early in my career, I found it hard not to take criticism personally. But I soon realized that constructive feedback is a powerful tool for self-improvement. For example, after a tough case loss, my mentor's blunt feedback pushed me to enhance my litigation strategy, significantly improving my performance in subsequent cases.”
That means there can be value to be gained.
“It's part of the job and of your personal development,” insists Alexey Chyrva, the chief product officer at Kitcast, a digital signage company. “It can be uncomfortable to hear sometimes but you can't really grow if you stay comfortable all the time.”
Criticism witnessed or experienced that missed the mark
“A team member criticized an innovative concept we were developing by calling it ‘too ambitious and impractical,’” Khoury recalls.
“While their intent may have been to express concerns, the criticism fell short because it lacked actionable feedback or specific ways we could make the idea more feasible.”
That wasn’t all that was interpreted in the interaction.
“It came across as dismissive, which didn’t move the conversation forward,” Khoury says.
There was a positive that resulted from that negative exchange.
“That experience taught me that criticism without a solution-oriented mindset can block progress and discourage innovation,” Khoury was able to learn.
It made an impression on him and changed the way he wanted interactions to go.
“After this event, I’ve made it a point to encourage feedback that’s specific, actionable and solution-driven — and we are creating refined procedures and protocols to make feedback more concise,” Khoury details.
Criticism as venting and without a strategic plan for development is confusing and can wear down team members.
“At one of my previous jobs, my boss kept criticizing me on a daily basis, which really interrupted my day-to-day work,” Chyrva says. “They were disrupting my process, which, I'm sure, also influenced the quality of my work because I couldn't focus on tasks very much.”
He wasn’t getting what he professionally needed to ease his superior’s dissatisfaction.
“They didn't provide any tangible indicators of how they knew I was doing something wrong; it was more related to how they believed I should have been doing my job,” Chyrva says. “There wasn't an understanding on their part that everyone has a different approach to work and as long as it brings results, which it did, there's no point in constantly policing it.”
This led to a missed opportunity with Chyrva and resulted in little more than stress.
“Those comments would usually just criticize the way I was performing tasks but not give me any information on how I can improve. It was completely meaningless since I just had to listen to them without knowing how to actually satisfy my boss,” he says.
Observing harsh — deserved or overdone — criticism and being impressed by how professionally the recipient handled it and moved forward for their benefit and the organization
“A team member who presented a product design concept that didn’t meet a client’s expectations during a critical meeting,” Khoury says. “The feedback from the client was direct and, honestly, very harsh.
“What struck me was how our team member handled it. They stayed composed, took detailed notes and asked clarifying questions without becoming defensive.”
That experience not only impressed, it helped the organization more easily move in the right, corrected-course direction.
“After the meeting, we regrouped and used that feedback to refine the design. Their calm and professional demeanor turned a tough moment into an opportunity for growth,” Khoury fondly recalls. “The revisions exceeded the client’s expectations and demonstrated the resilience and adaptability that I believe are vital for success.”
“One of my co-workers who I was pretty close with once had a performance review that went terribly. In fact, they didn't pass it and had to redo it later,” Chyrva says.
“They got a lot of feedback about how the boss didn't see their growth or how they didn't bring any ideas to the table. Honestly, I think it was a stressful day for everyone and just a bad coincidence because my colleague was really hard-working. I knew it for a fact.
His teammate struggled emotionally with that criticism.
“The colleague didn't take it very well. It was devastating. They took some time off because it was truly hard to handle,” Chyrva says.
There was a return to work and a positive response.
“Once they came back, I watched how much effort they put into the second performance review presentation. They addressed all the criticism with actual data, referring to what our boss had said, with screenshots,” Chyrva says.
“They passed the second performance review, which was no surprise, because of how hard they worked on it.”
What it takes to want to accept criticism and implement adjustments
“Constructive criticism is solution-focused,” Khoury says. “It’s intended to help you grow and comes with actionable suggestions. It’s about addressing the work, not the person and providing clarity on how improvements can be made.
“Destructive criticism is often rooted in personal bias or negativity and lacks any meaningful direction. It tears down rather than builds up.”
For him, he is looking for specific signs to receive criticism with a curious and motivated mindset.
“To implement adjustments based on feedback, I look for three things: clarity, actionable suggestions and alignment with goals,” Khoury states. “When those elements are present, feedback can be transformative and drive meaningful growth.”
“To me, it's pretty simple,” Chyrva says. “If it's based on proof and is not personal, it's constructive criticism. It evaluates your work, not you. Plus, it shows you what exactly can be improved.
“Another bonus point, as I mentioned earlier, would be suggestions on how to improve. With such feedback, the team can actually grow instead of wasting time on stressing or questioning what they've done wrong.”
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We having been working with Michael fir over 3yrs. He is very honest and to the point. He tells it like it is. I know we bugg the he'll out of him and Hope sometimes. But they are always respectful. He details everything out for us. My husband has so many questions and he gets a little stressed we think but he keeps listening and Hope too. He says Trust him and we do
Kat and Kenny
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